Sonic Retro » Humor

Why Sonic the Hedgehog 4 will SUCK (Courtesy of Destructoid)

Overlord — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:10:47 +0000

Destructoid has an article up over here proclaiming the reasons why Sonic 4 will suck – essentially it’s a piss-take on the nitpicky little things that some have been complaining about Sonic 4 that will make zero difference to the game in general, everything from eye-colour to Robotnik/Eggman’s naming argument. Go and take a look, but remember to take it with a large helping of salt. =P

Sonic Nets the #9 Spot in GT’s “Most Disappointing Games of the Decade”

Slingerland — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:49:36 +0000

Video Games | GT Countdown | Top 10 Disappointments of the Decade

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Mega64 Takes the [Onion] Rings out of Everyone’s Mouths.

Spexfox — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:19:18 +0000

Mega64 has certainly gained a lot of popularity since starting as a mere public access TV show. Of course I liked them before they were cool. But whatever…

Today isn’t a day to chuckle at Mega64’s antics, but to observe their classy taste and analysis of…uh…fast food.

(Why this simile isn’t drawn upon more I’ll never know.)

A Logical Progression

Slingerland — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 09:50:08 +0000

Been out of the community for a while? Don’t worry, I’ll recap the past, present, and THE FUTURE.

I think that the term “newfag” should be changed to “It’s-only-fag.”

Sonic 4 Announcement Leads to Domestic Abuse

Tweaker — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 11:09:12 +0000

Credible news source The Escapist has conjured up a feature on the new upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog 4. Extensive research and interviews with professionals reveal how Sonic 4–and by extension, the Sonic series in the last ten years as a whole–may be nothing more than a classic case of domestic abuse.

With the cards on the table, the question ultimately remains–will Sonic 4 break Sonic’s rampant addiction to speed and lust for new cheap thrills? Only time will tell. Until then, this reporter advises readers to seek counseling to avoid further emotional trauma.

First @ Retro: New Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Art

Scarred Sun — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:19:19 +0000

In light of this week’s developments on Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1, we at Sonic Retro were concerned on what this would mean for the upcoming Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing. Imagine our shock when we were contacted by a source close to Sega with exclusive art!

Sega All-Stars Racing gets Christmas trailer. You can buy it after Christmas!

Spexfox — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:47:59 +0000

I could type so words here, but all you guys really want is to see the trailer, right? OK, fine. Happy Holidays!

Embedable trailer courtesy of Joystiq.

Little Big Planet getting Sonic Sackboys.

Spexfox — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:00:58 +0000

Although they don’t seem to be available yet on Sony’s US Playstation Network store, it appears that Sega’s cracked a little deal and there is now Sackboy costumes for some of your favorite and not-so-favorite Sonic characters! These include Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails, Knuckles, Werehog and Dr. Eggman Costumes. For the most part though, I’m simply curious how the licensing worked out on this one. In any case, this is a nice win for Sonic fans on the PS3 that play Little Big Planet. At least if you’re in the right region for now. Click the link below (or the image) to see the store page for yourself!

Sources:

Playstation Store Page

Sonic the Socialist

Scarred Sun — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:44:04 +0000

Comic Book and Economics mash-up blog Ecocomics recently decided to turn their attention towards Sonic the Hedgehog, only to deduce that our favorite blue hero is in fact a socialist. By analyzing the plot of the games and characters’ motives, they come to an obvious conclusion:

Sonic the Hedgehog is a socialist hero. Indeed, this might come as a tremendous shock to you. It might be difficult to reconcile what you thought Sonic represented with what he actually stands for. Yet, regardless of your political beliefs, your economic preferences, or your views on class warfare, there is another lesson, perhaps even more important, that we can glean from our years of following Sonic’s adventures. He taught us to stand up for what we believe in, regardless of societal pressures.

And to avoid spikes.

The jury is still out on Sonic’s presumed cannibalism after Sonic Unleashed’s chili-dog eating.