Today, (April 7th) at 9 AM Eastern on the Sonic Facebook page, there will be a “huge announcement.” I’m sure some of you will stay up all night brimming with anticipation. Most of us jaded bastards will go to sleep and not give a damn or will stay up all night playing Minecraft and ROM hacking as usual. I, personally, will be working on my fanmade script for a sequel to You, Me and Dupree, called You, Me and TWOpree: Dupree-ier. Owen Wilson’s agent is all like, “Oh wow, I’m Owen Wilson’s agent.”
I digress. Anyway, something “big” is going down tomorrow. I put “big” in quotes because, come on… it’s SEGA.
It’s time for a stupid, time-killing prediction until the announcement gets here. I’m really good at predictions because both SEGA and Sonic fans are predictable as a stump (bad decision, people rightfully call-out said bad decision, kids eat and enjoy turds, leading to “true Sonic fan” crusades). Everything that happened around Sonic 4? Kobe. All the way. Now is your chance to be Kobe.
I can’t shoot the J this time because I already know the answer to this question. Congratulations to all future shot-callers. Don’t worry about picking a pessimistic choice if you feel it’s going to be right. Kobe isn’t pessimistic. All he does is win.
21 Comments on this post
Leave a CommentSonic Generations will be a collection of Colors/Unleashed Daytime levels with Retro level themes. And true believes will say “Classic Physics or GTFO!”.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Overbound
I hate you for not making this two choices.
Also, calling it now: Sonic Colors 2 will have the level “Glidden Palace Zone”
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by GeneHF
“An outsourced vague trailer with lots of AFTER EFFECTZ.” I would’ve loved to have picked a humorous one, but this is SERIOUSLY what I expect. A vague trailer, us speculating even more, until actual footage of said game is shown.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by serpx
Yes, but by the time any actual footage is shown, everyone will agree it sucks.
Reply left on 4.7.2011 by Scarletdark
I think it’s going to be a Sonic based MMO where kids can play as their Fan Characters. “LOL, I is Shayde the Sugar Glider.”
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Ben Tibbels
Maybe they have a new game development plan in which they just release vague trailers, let the fans speculate and then just make disappointing games based on the speculation
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Ben Tibbels
Sonic 4 Episode II: Ceiling Running Returns
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Zephyr
I voted for “a vague trailer with lots of AFTER EFFECTZ” because I assume the trailer will be a total cocktease. >_> I would have gone with the outsourced version of the answer, but I don’t think Sega is foolish enough to do that again after the flack they got last time…I hope. <_<
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by W.A.C.
I believe the trailer will bring the fanbase together in glorious harmony, and we shall live happily ever after, never again to quarrel.
But screw that, I want a Sonic game where he looks like Batman. That’s much better.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Streak
So THAT'S why that got a lot of votes. Also, 3.48% of people need help. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sRrOZUGNQ0
Reply left on 4.7.2011 by AquaticSonic
I vote that it will be like most teaser/opening trailers in general, and that people will crucify it despite it being the norm.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Razorsaw
Wrestlemania 28: Can Classic Sonic beat the Streak? Modern Sonic is undefeated at being rubbish. Maybe Classic Sonic has just enough left in him for one last high quality game.
I already bought my ticket.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Battletoad_Alpha
Classic Sonic is tired of New Age Sonic running around with his baw-green eyes looking like a bowl of fruity pebbles. Classic Sonic says he is never alone. He's with the millions ... and millions ... of Sonic fans. And they are all a part of Team Black Eyes. Team Black Eyes means you go for your dreams. If you smell-a-la-la-la-ell what the hog is cooking!!!
Reply left on 4.7.2011 by Battletoad_Alpha
Yeah, I’m calling Sonic 4: Episode 2, but I’m probably wrong. I just like to set myself up for disappointment.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by DC.17
Oh, lol @ the combination pizza hut & taco bell choice. rofl.
Reply left on 4.7.2011 by DC.17
If by “many problems” you mean that one physics problem, then I’m all for Sonic 4 Episode 2. Or a Colors with retro levels. Or both.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Huggz
It’s option 3. No lie.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Honkey
Did you cats see it yet? I ‘unno, man. It did nothing for me. (It’s also being released on 2 systems I don’t own yet, lmao.)
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by DC.17
I predict something “big.” Interpret that as you will.
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Miles3298
I thought for SURE it could have been combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell…oh well. We can’t all be pleased, now can we?
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Writer’s Blah
So all Kobe does is win, right Slingerland? Right? Because one of the pessimistic answers turned out to be true.
Oh, wait, it didn’t. Instead we got classic Sonic meeting modern Sonic. Explain yourself, Kobe!
Comment left on 4.7.2011 by Preston