Today, (April 7th) at 9 AM Eastern on the Sonic Facebook page, there will be a “huge announcement.” I’m sure some of you will stay up all night brimming with anticipation. Most of us jaded bastards will go to sleep and not give a damn or will stay up all night playing Minecraft and ROM hacking as usual. I, personally, will be working on my fanmade script for a sequel to You, Me and Dupree, called You, Me and TWOpree: Dupree-ier. Owen Wilson’s agent is all like, “Oh wow, I’m Owen Wilson’s agent.”
I digress. Anyway, something “big” is going down tomorrow. I put “big” in quotes because, come on… it’s SEGA.
It’s time for a stupid, time-killing prediction until the announcement gets here. I’m really good at predictions because both SEGA and Sonic fans are predictable as a stump (bad decision, people rightfully call-out said bad decision, kids eat and enjoy turds, leading to “true Sonic fan” crusades). Everything that happened around Sonic 4? Kobe. All the way. Now is your chance to be Kobe.
I can’t shoot the J this time because I already know the answer to this question. Congratulations to all future shot-callers. Don’t worry about picking a pessimistic choice if you feel it’s going to be right. Kobe isn’t pessimistic. All he does is win.