Comics, Humor

“Sonic-Grams” Vol. 4: Who Wants To Dress Up As Knuckles With Me?

Here we are, week four! And maybe the actual week Sonic the Hedgehog #221 comes out. Seems release schedules aren’t as clear as they once were. Either way, we know the deal here – looking at letters fans like us wrote a decade and a half ago. They cover a wide range of topics, and while none of them are looking for Dr. Robotnik’s phone number…well…no harm in reading on anyway, right? Strap yourselves in – we’re up for one crazy rollercoaster of a ride.

Being the fourth installment, it’s only fair that this letter from Bryan Novak printed in issue 11 starts us off:

For the first time, we see SEGA’s $trategy revealed! Not like it was hard to guess. I do enjoy how Archie acts like they actually know what SEGA was doing behind the scenes, and not say outright how clueless they really were. Might look bad for business if the readers found out the company who owns the property didn’t feel the need to tell the editors anything. Hope the sixteen years was worth it, Bryan. I expect your review of Episode One on my desk by Monday.

Let’s move on from Archie’s incompetence and instead read a charming letter from issue 24, where Jimi Raffety of St. Louis, Missouri wanted to talk to everyone’s favorite Echidna:

Before I say anything, yes. This is the entire letter. No, the editorial staff did not write a reply that I forgot to post here. This letter was printed all alone, with no explanation, and not even supplied with a friendly drawing like Trigger was able to get. Part of me wants to know what Trans-Knuckles looked like, the other part…not so much. Could’ve looked like Julie-Su. Could’ve looked like Knuckles’ mom. Could have looked like…wait, between two and four? On which Saturday? Is this offer still good?

Let us run left to issue 22, and read a letter from Jenny Ramos, who seems to be a big Knuckles fan. He sure is getting the love right now. Must be the dreads.

…yeah, definitely the dreads. But she does ask the important questions – what does Knuckles prefer? I mean, Sally has reddish/brownish hair, and he had a kinda-crush on her in the comics since she was the first girl he ever saw. And Julie-Su…she has pink. Rouge the Bat is white (all the way down if we believe a certain Pakistan commercial) and Sonia is…also pink. Not that it matters, since dating doesn’t exist in California. Unless she means dating a fictional character is impossible…which means Jenny is one step ahead of the game. Wait, fan art? Oh man, we gotta see what it is!

…oh. Next issue, please.

He made friends with Knuckles in a day! He’s a lot better at that game than I was…and was rewarded with early letter printing! Good for you, Nathan Harson! Not only for the letter, but the fact you’ve been paying attention, and are quite aware that Sonic the Hedgehog is a bit of a dick. Though I think he goes a little extreme in his assumptions…no matter how dark people want to think the series is (hint: it is about a supersonic blue hedgehog it is not grimdark) there has never been a time where Sonic ripped off anyone’s head, let alone a fan who puts down their parents hard earned money to buy his adventures every month.

Ah yes, the obligatory “Internet fan letter of the week.” I’m not sure how many more of these types of letters I’m going to have after this. If not, we’re going out in style. I shouldn’t even have to explain who this guy is. Back when Internet Sonic fans were still arguing over the subtleties of the Saturday morning series, there was one man who was painstakingly building a website dedicated to the original Japanese continuity of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe. Focused on the games back when the worst Sonic game was Labyrinth, Jared “Green Gibbon” Matte poured so much love and energy into his site, The Green Hill Zone, that it still remains one of the premier sources for everything SegaSonic. Granted, it’s been a while since he’s updated it, but when you’re forced to work with material like Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2006, I can see why your passion has fallen to the wayside.

It’s a bit surreal to see him actually praising anything Archie did, seeing how far removed the comics were from the games. To be fair, a lot of what we know now, none of us knew back then. It was 1997. Most people didn’t even know Tails’ Skypatrol existed, let alone the finer points of the Japanese Sonic mythology. Ah, youthful exuberance. Where have you gone…probably the same place our hopes and dreams disappeared to.

Gotta speed, keed!

Wait is keed actually what he says is that even a word.

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2 Comments

  • Reply

    No Sonic, it’s not a dream.
    It’s the FUTURE
    FLOPPY SPINES

  • Reply

    Where does it say Keed?

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