Humor, Miscellaneous

Sonic 4 Announcement Leads to Domestic Abuse

Credible news source The Escapist has conjured up a feature on the new upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog 4. Extensive research and interviews with professionals reveal how Sonic 4–and by extension, the Sonic series in the last ten years as a whole–may be nothing more than a classic case of domestic abuse.

With the cards on the table, the question ultimately remains–will Sonic 4 break Sonic’s rampant addiction to speed and lust for new cheap thrills? Only time will tell. Until then, this reporter advises readers to seek counseling to avoid further emotional trauma.

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11 Comments

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    Oh christ, I lost it on the AoStH quote. XD

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    This is why we can’t have nice things.

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    And Remember: Sonic Says tat if someone touches you in a place ou don’t feel comfortable about, that’s no good! XD…I really liked the approach about this…also because it’s true…when you go blue you never go back 0_o. butnone the less, it’s true, most of the 3D games that sonic are in didn’t do sonic much good, and I can only hope he gets an adiction to 2.5D XD

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    Fantastic vid, I guess we’re all like that woman.

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    That was hilarious and well done! “I never knew he had this.. animal inside him!” LOL!

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    LOL Crazy Sonic Fun

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    “…and things, like Big the Cat…and then in 2003 he brought home a gun.  It was so…! [cries]”

    Love it.  lol.

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    There are so many things right with this video.

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    Cerny didn’t screw up Crash Bandicoot, Vivendi did. Sony and NaughtyDog would never ruin the franchise

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    She never knew, Sonic, a HEDGEHOG had an animal in him? She must need some SERIOUS mental help (and not the domestic abuse kind either)…

    “sonic brought home a gun”

    Sonic didn’t even use a gun other than perhaps shadow’s “pure dark” story…where sonic was forced to fight and kill shadow…

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    Isn’t crash still around with his Titan-Hijacking games (Basicly GTT grand theft titan…omg I hope that’s not his next game…)?
    The AotSH quote was funny but didn’t fit.
    “So that’s what a cycle of abuse looks like” “Neat!”
    WTF?
    Naughty Dog sold the license so it IS their fault.
    No MM9 or MM10 mentions? MM8 was made ages ago, and what happened with Sonic 4 happened with MM9. SCE thankfully listend to the fans who had trouble (Probably only those who lived outside of japan? I’d bet Rockman 9 was easy for them…) And gave MM10 an “easy mode” and Bass as future DLC (or launch day DLC if you don’t have a Wii…wait capcom and nintendo now? Sounds like something Sega did in the past. Oddly this site shows leaks from XBLA and not WiiWare for Sonic 4?)
    Megaman 9 Had a DLC Protoman, and while his proto jet was “cruise control” quality, I still had an easier time with Megs…

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